I hate everyone.

Well to be extremely specific, I live in Brampton, Ontario and I hate almost everyone that lives here. And to be even more specific, I hate 90% of the people that attend the same school as I do.

Some guys created this page on Facebook called “Hit Rates” basically ratings for ugly people. I was not surprised to find my picture along with other girls and guys that attend the same school. But I was surprised to see under my picture a comment specifically saying, “LMFAO! I’d take this down before she sees it and commits suicide.” That honestly got me so angry. One, I know who all those guys are and I don’t even talk to any of them anymore. But the fact that I’ve been depressed for the past year and the fact that I have actually attempted such thing and then being called out on it is when tempered me. 

I cannot believe this is the place I have to live in. I cannot believe that people in our generation, in today’s society can be so low! I just can’t stand it! I so badly wanted to be taken away from here and go someplace where no one knows my name.

Words From The Heart -*

I feel alone so often, it’s strange. I’ve never been in a situation where I felt like there was no one there. Like everyone I was once close with disappeared.

I then realized, it’s because the guy I fell hard for, isn’t around much anymore as a friend. But what could I expect?
1. You can’t possibly be friends with someone you used to love.
2. It’s been a year and 5 months that I’ve had these feelings for him. Of course he’d move on to someone else.

& to talk to another guy? No problem! But my wall is up so high, how could I let someone in? I feel as if the moment I do that, I’ll find myself getting hurt just as bad as I did the first time. Maybe even worse, who knows?!

But my friend did point out one thing. That thinking so far ahead and over thinking the situation is what’s making me feel disappointment and therefore don’t even bother with going through with anything. The best way, is to just go with the flow and see where it takes you. I really need to learn to stop being so negative and believing that everyone is out to get me or hurt me in some way.